3.5 and Still Alive!

Well that was an exciting work out today.
I really wasn't feeling it. The weather here has been so up and down. I am not one to turn my nose up at the snow. I love winter. But I am getting so tired of running in precipitation. Nothing beats 3.5 in wet, spitting snow. But I sucked it up and got out there.

 



I've been running around our complex and that's not a bad alternative but its about a .56 mile loop and you can only run around it so many times before you want a change of scenery - especially on the longer runs. I ran around the developments outside our complex and got SO LOST. I wanted this to be an easy run where I could just get lost with my music and my thoughts and I never thought to think about where I was. Fittingly enough though, the streets around my complex are all named after athletic shoes - Saucony Drive, Reebox Street, Adidas... I cannot make that up.
Anyways, I did a good job of getting lost (physically and mentally) but I started getting this tingle in my left big toe. Then it was all I could think about which then just kept making me check my watch to see when I would be done running. And then I was thinking about how I didn't know how far from home I was and that I was going to have to finish walking home even after I was done running. By the time I finished the run, both of my feet were tingling and numb.
So I googled it when I got home. My initial research says its some type of nerve impairment? I have shoes that were fitted to me (although I did change my insoles this time around) and I don't tie my laces very tightly at all. In the past, this has happened when I've been on elliptical but I just figured it was a product of being on a machine. Now its happening running normally and I'm frustrated. I have a 5 mile race on March 16th and I really don't want to run 5 miles with numb feet. I have my annual physical on Wednesday next week so I'll bring it up with my doc then. In the meantime, I'm just looking forward to my 4 mile run on Saturday...
Well, I am exhausted and I desperately need to ice my legs and then hang out with a heating pad for a while.

Do your feet and toes tingle when you run? What are you obstacles right now?

Kathy

Memories

Sunday night, I had the sudden urge to get out all the photos that I have in my possession and organize them because I really want to get back into scrapbooking. I have been craving doing something creative for a very very long time now and I love scrapbooking.
The pictures I found made me laugh. I looked at all the baby (and by baby I mean tiny teeny little baby pictures) of my wonderful, giant 2.5 year old. I miss the days of him not talking back or saying "no" everytime I ask him a question. It was nice to remember the day he was born and all the people we had with us. I remember sitting in my kitchen and clutching my dog for dear life trying to convince my husband that no one would notice if we snuck him into the hospital with us.
Then I found some AWESOME pictures of my husband and I when we were in high school and college. We both looked at those and realized just how much we've changed in 10 years. I mean, we started dating when he was 17 and I was 16. My husband will turn 27 in March and he's having a hard time with this birthday. I think he's realized finally that the majority of his 20s are behind him - LOL.
Looking at those pictures just made me think back at how far I've come and its made me realize how much further I have to go still. It really is about the journey, not the destination. I highly doubt that I've reached my potential quite yet and I refuse to believe that I peaked at 17 years old in high school. I've just realized how truely blessed I've been and how blessed I continue to be. Its so exciting getting to watch my son grow up, learn things, and become who he is. Its awesome getting be a little kid again essentially. I always joke that I peaked at 6 years old. I get to be 6 again! Its awesome!!! Although, I do recall having more energy when I was 6... Wish that came around again...

Running update: Went for 3 miles this morning. I got it done in 36:35 which is about a full minute faster than my 3 miler on Saturday. I still think I'm pushing myself too hard but I finished strong and I had a little bit more left in the tank. Thursday's run will be 3.5 which is going to be exciting... refreshing... TERRIFYING!! But I think if I can just remind myself to pace it and remember that I need to finish, I'll be fine.
What I really need to do is to stop doubting my bodies abilities though. I've been in the mindset for so long that I'm not a runner. And then it was the mindset of I'm a slow runner. Then I wasn't anything for a while. I need to stop thinking that way, realize that I'm awesome, and remind myself that I am an athlete. I may not be breaking course records or getting endorsement deals, but I am an athlete for the mere fact that I am training and running and getting out there and doing it. Long and short of it, I'm way more of a head case as a runner than I ever was a discus thrower.


What are your biggest obstacles?



Kathy

Moderation

ALL GOOD THINGS IN MODERATION

 

I really need to learn to embrace that statement. I am starting out way too fast on my runs. I am eating way too many sweets. I am watching way too many episodes of Top Gear (the British version).

 

Running - Today was the first mind game I've had to play with myself during this journey. I originally thought that my training plan called for a 2 mile run today in preparation for my 5 mile race on March 16th.

Oh no, it was actually a 2.5 mile run.

After having run 3 miles yesterday.

And it was colder today.

And I got less sleep last night...

I decided to try and make the best of it when I started out and I was feeling great - until I looked at my watch and realized I was on track to run a 11:30 mile. To most seasoned runners out there, that's probably the pace at which they walk but to me, just starting out again, trying to increase my endurance and not get injured, 11:30 is just TOO FAST. I slowed right down but then I was so dog tired that the second mile felt like it lasted forever and then I realized I had another .5 to go. I finished in 30:10 which gave an average pace of 12:05 which isn't bad. Its good - really good. But now I have to survive the rest of the day with my 2.5 year old and tackle the endless list of things to do around the house - all with little to no energy.

I need to learn to pace myself. As my husband says "you jack rabbited". This is the mental game that turned me off of running for all those years in college and high school.

 

"Time is a funny thing. It can take a man's life without him knowing it."

My "frenemy"...

 

 

Eating - My eating is HORRIBLE right now. I have no desire to eat healthy and well. I want to eat things that taste good and then eat a lot of it. I just want to have chocolate every day. I don't know what's wrong with me there. Thinking it might have something to do with my cycle and starting up running again. I'm not so concerned with the scale but I want to make sure I'm fueling my body properly. I have had such a bad relationship with food. I'm only recently starting to enjoy vegetables but give me pasta with a cream sauce and a lava cake for dessert and I'm a happy girl. I'm also a firm believer in listening to what my body wants so I'm not quite sure what its telling me right now because I can't eat chocolate cake every day...

 

I am SO looking forward to a rest day tomorrow.

 

Kathy

 

 

Happiness and other things

So, I didn't get a chance to post yesterday for the mere fact that I was EXHAUSTED!
Darling son decided that getting up at 2:30am and staying awake till 5 was the thing to do. I'm still struggling with this whole letting him just put himself down vs. going in there and putting him down myself. He's always been a great sleeper but since we transitioned him to a new bed and he has more freedom in his room, its been hit or miss. He has handled it well, but lately I think he's suffering from cabin fever as much as I am and is just acting out.

Also, given the frustrated rant of the day before yesterday, I've decided I need to find more positivity in my life. This morning I had a really great run. Way better than I thought it was going to be and as I was walking a cool down with my dog I realized that I am not taking advantage of the gifts that I have. To start doing that, Saturdays I'm going to try and post what is making me HAPPY.

1. Compression Sleeves and New Balance Running Shoes - Today's killer run was brought to you by the brand new compression sleeves I got for my shin splints. I felt good and sustained all 3 miles. No twinges of calf fatigue or shin splits. This was my second run in my shoes and my feet and my PF felt good! Although, the big toe in my left foot goes tingly and numb after about a mile and half. I'll need to google that later...
2. My 2.5 year old son - He tries to read now. His favorite book is "Oh the Places You'll Go" and he tries to read what's on the page (from memory of course). He's just so smart :)
3. Weather - Its starting to get warm! And by warm, it's just about freezing when I go for a run - lol! Got to LOVE the Midwest :)
4. My husband - He tries and that's all I can ask for. He's been supportive of running and racing. He wants me to do a half marathon in October with him. I'm TERRIFIED of it but today I almost believed him when he said that I could do it. Maybe a few more days of hearing that and I'll accept it.
5. My dad - He made me the athlete and person I am. He taught me that nothing good comes without working hard for it and that its about the training, not the finish.
6. Presents in the Mail - I got a necklace today with the phrase "Today, I will..." I saw this on another blog that I read and it really made me think about accomplishments, big and small, and how they all just add up.

Well, that's about all for now. If anyone out there has some hints for getting a willful and stubborn 2.5 year old to sleep, I'd love to hear any suggestions!

Kathy

 

My dad and I at my graduation in 2008 :)

 

My wonderful husband who deals with me as best he can :)

 

 

My terribly wonderful two year old with his partner in crime Nick, the Jack Russel Terrorist...

Body issues, Eating Issues, Children Issues... BLAHDY BLAHDY BLAH



So I write this today because I'm struggling right now.
I've started this running journey, right? I have been running on an off with mild success for about a year but right now, I feel more dedicated about it than ever before. My wonderful husband has wanted to run a half marathon for a few months now but has been sidelined due to injury (he finally knows what shin splints are and why running isn't always just oh so pleasant) and Midwest winters. We've signed up to run a 5 mile race together in about 22 days. I've been comfortably (but slowly) running 2.5 miles in 30 minutes so I figured, what's another 2.5 to that. This is my first real week of conditioning for the race. I don't want to try for a PR, this will be my first serious race but I also don't want to be that woman that everyone looks at her and thinks "what is she doing running?" I also have this insane fear of finishing last. I know since I'm not trying to PR I shouldn't care about finishing last, but I do. I do care. I feel like I look like an elephant when I run. I constantly compare myself to people around me and a friend made a comment (thinking it would be helpful motivation) that just made me feel worse.
This leads to eating issues. I think its just that time in my cycle, but all I want to do is eat awful food. I've been trying to figure out the best way to eat for my body. Best way to get the calories I need, lose weight that I definitely need to lose, and still be able to feed my family all on a tight budget. BUT I just want ice cream. Its really bad at night. I can do alright during the day but once the evening falls and my husband is home from work, I just want to eat junk food. I've read about cutting out fat, cutting out carbs, cutting out "bad" carbs, vegan, meat only, cut out sugar, sugar is ok in moderation - I can't keep it all straight.
When I was in high school, my weight never mattered to me. I was fit, in shape, and an athlete. However, I did not eat well despite being an athlete. I never ate breakfast. It wasn't really enforced in my house to eat before school and I didn't want to either - I had an early morning choir class and eating messed with my voice. Our lunch period was only 24 minutes long which was NEVER enough time to get food and eat it so I usually just had a bag of chips and a 20oz. ginger ale. Then dinner was never very appetizing so I just ate enough to not be hungry and then that was that. If I went out with friends, that's when I ate because I was programmed to eat what tasted good. This is something with which I am still struggling.
I'm also constantly struggling with how well my son is eating and if he's getting the right nutrients and the right types of food. He is a happy healthy "average" 2.5 year old. He eats peas and salads but would definitely prefer a pop tart to a bowl of peas any day of the week. I worry about him eating too much sugar and becoming obese. I'm worried about him being too sedentary. I'm just always worried.

Well that was quite the rant. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.

Does anyone else out there have these issues or need a rant?

Kathy

A New Challenge

Sitting in my kitchen with my son joyfully playing in the room above me (though it is naptime), I have been reflecting on how 2013 is going so far. I really should be doing the dishes though... This seems like a better use of time.
My son has fully begun his terrible two's. His behaviors seem to come in 6 month spurts. Its incredibly frustrating but I think we're getting through the worst of it. He is such a smart boy and its almost too much of a good thing because he can see through the little tricks my husband and I try to play on him for his own good and safety. For instance, before I could get through calling just plain old skim milk, white chocolate milk when he wanted chocolate milk. Not so much anymore. He is definitely stubborn and headstrong but still respectful. At least of other adults. And truthfully I would rather it be that way. He can be awful to me as much as he wants but not to the world around him. I always said I wanted him to be a respectful smartass.
Also, I have started on a new challenge. Lately, I've been working out with P90X. Its not easy but it was a good thing to do with it being too cold outside to really be able to run well. Well now its just about freezing during the morning which in Midwest speak is just warm enough to be able to go for a run.
I am so excited about running again. I did really well with it at the beginning of last year. I lost about 30 lbs doing it too. But it gave me that runners high. That kick that really made me feel like I was accomplishing something. I could see progress and though it wasn't easy progress, I could look back at the end of a workout and say "yes, I did just accomplish that".
I think this is the thing that I need. I've been reading some running blogs written by other women and mothers and I finally feel like I have the motivation I need to really stick to it. Its nice to read other women going through the same things that I am. Most of these women are competitive runners and I struggle to get through 30 minutes of straight running but every journey of 1,000 miles starts with one step, right?
The other upside to this running thing is that my husband wants to do it too. Its finally something we can do together that we both want as opposed to the dance lessons I want to do or the HOURS upon HOURS of screen time (movies, iphones, television) that he wants. Also, I want to be more of an example of healthy living to our son. I want him to see his mom and dad doing things together for the betterment of their lives. I want him to want to be active. I can't wait till the weather gets to the point where we can break out the jogging stroller and go on family runs again.
I like this new thing.