My Messy Life

I have a three year old. Well not yet but in less than a month my boy will be three. He has taught me so much about myself in the last three years. More than I have taught him for sure.

Anyways, it is the day before my 27th birthday. My birthday eve if you will. I was looking at my living room while watching another episode of Top Gear (British version) as I so frequently do and I saw this:

We bought this for our son a year ago for his second birthday. And then I noticed this on our side table:

This is his Elmo bag and on that hook is the Skeeter hat his Uncle "Hipp" gave him for Christmas that he wears everywhere. If I would have snapped a picture, you would also see the stack of mail on the table, the random blankets laying around every room and floor that my dog and running companion burrows in, the stack of dishes that lays in wait in the sink, and the laundry, folded in baskets, waiting to be put away. My house is full of projects and tasks yet to be completed. 

But it dawns on me tonight: my house is also full of a family that played with the dog, laughing, until the dog was too tired to move. It is full of a family that laughed until our faces hurt. It is full of a family that had a 30 minute serious and in depth conversation about who is who on the Island of Sodor (Thomas the Tank is big in these parts - Googling was involved). It is full of a family that looks forward to family movie night that usually happens to be pizza night too.

I am BLESSED!

I am turning 27 tomorrow and entering my late 20s officially. For a very long time, I haven't enjoyed my birthday. I view it as just another day not to be noticed or marked by anything really. But for this birthday, after really seeing the things and people in my life, I am grateful. I cannot wait for the next year of my life.

26 has been hard. I have been tested and tried countless times. But every time I have found the good (even for the things that have followed me into 27). I have an amazing husband who is attempting to bake me a cake at this moment. I have a son who amazes me daily with how much he knows and who he is becoming. I have a dog who is a better person than most of the people I know. 

I love my family. I love my life. I may get things wrong every so often. I may have dirty floors and unwashed laundry. I may have toys everywhere and dusty furniture. I may act ungrateful and frustrated. I have a dog that barks at everything and anything and a son that has his major "Hulk" moments. But I have happiness and joy. I have unconditional love with no strings attached. I have a happy family with crazy memories and inside jokes.

For 27, I am done with pretenses and appearances. I am who I am and that is  pretty awesome. I am going to embrace this next year. I thank God for everything he has given me. I would be nothing without Him. 

So join me in embracing a new year! A new outlook. A new beginning!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Kathy

Quick Post

So there has been a lot on my mind lately and organizing those thoughts is proving to be impossible difficult.
So in an effort to get those ideas in order, I'm going to do a quick post of the things that are sticking out most to me right now.

My Birthday

My birthday is in a week. I will be 27. Not sure if I'm looking forward to this or not. I don't have an issue getting older but I typically don't really enjoy my birthdays. I usually make a big deal about other people's birthdays but when it comes to my own, nothing. Last year, for my birthday, I took my husband to the doctor to get a cyst removed from his arm and then the day after, helped my sister-in-law move to her new apartment.

Not exactly a huge party. And its not that people forget or anything. I'm just never very thrilled about the day.

This year though, I'm going to try to change my attitude. I would like a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting, so... Darling Husband, if you are reading this - HINT HINT...

(P.S. Dear, there is a recipe for said cake in my recipe binder. Its listed under baked goods.)

 

My Son's Birthday

My wonderful son is turning 3 next month! I can't believe its been three years since that crazy ball of human came into my life. It was love at first sight for the first time (sorry dear husband, I fell in love with you after a few months... Although, I really did like you a lot and you were really cute when we met ;) ). I guess what's been on mind about this is kids are so different from what I was when I was his age. I learned how to write and read in Kindergarten. Now, they have to go there knowing how. I'm just not sure what my expectations are supposed to be and that scares me. But, I'm trying to trust that he will be fine no matter where he is or what he knows.

 

My ball of human... This is quite possibly the worst picture we ever took of him when he was born but it is BY FAR the funniest :)

 

My Son's Tantrum

Oh welcome back temper tantrums!!! I think that I've figured out that right before my son hits a spurt (language development or physical development) he regresses. Well, behaviorally, he backslid so fast I think it caused an earthquake. He started biting, pinching, and kicking his little friends again. Oh and he loves hitting me when he doesn't get his way. Not good. We are taking away toys, enforcing time outs, and trying to emphasize the good behavior but right now I'm not sure he's actually listening. Its like he enjoys watching us punish him so he purposefully misbehaves. Really looking forward to that being over.

 

Running and Weight Loss

The running is going well. I'm finishing up week 3 and starting week 4. I only have a 2.5 mile run tomorrow (my long run for the week) but next Saturday I'm at 6.5. SO excited. My shins and calves are talking to me but its nothing that I would chalk up to needing time off. I just have to stretch more and start running with my compression sleeves again to get over this hurdle. Oh and never forget the ice. The weight loss, however, is going backwards. I can't figure out a decent diet plan to accompany my training that will fuel me as a runner and still promote weight loss. So that is really frustrating.

 

Emotional Well-Being

I won't lie when I say that I have been dealt some pretty rough hands these past few months. I'll talk about them on here at some point because these hands have become so much of who I am now. They are just too raw to bring them up right now because I am still unsure of how I feel about all of what has happened. Physically, I'm healthy and I have a fantastic husband, dog, and son. I'm not heading for a mental break or anything either. I just feel a little bit like Eeyore with the rain cloud following me everywhere right now. Being 26 and 2013 has been the year of 1 step forward, 1.5 steps back. I'm looking forward to and hoping that 27 is going to be better.

 

Not that that was quick or anything but I feel mildly better getting it out of my head for the time-being.

So, how is the second half of 2013 looking up for everyone?

 

Kathy

 

 

Crazy - An Update as to Where I've Been Hiding Lately

WOW!!!!

So I've been absent lately. I'm sorry about this. Life just got very, very busy. The last few weeks have been quite the rollercoaster of activity and excitement.

 

Here's a recap:

 

4th of July has come and gone (I know I haven't posted since before that but I'll start with what little I can remember right now). The family and I went back home to visit for a long weekend. We left on the 4th in the AM and drove 2 hours to Cleveland (where both our families live and where we are from). My PILs (parents-in-law) were in Canada for a Barbershop Competition (my FIL sings in a pretty impressive chorus) and so we stayed at their house to cat sit (HILARIOUS story about that later) and just went and spent the days with my family. We had a lot of family time. My son got to play with his cousins which was nice and is that boy in love with my dad. Seeing the two of them together is one of the happiest things in my life to think about.

 

6th of July, my son, the hubs, and I ran in a 5k that can only be hosted in Parma, Oh - Run for the Pierogis. I KNOW!!! You can't make that up. This is the second year that I've run it. Last year, my siblings and I ran it and the Hubs watched with our son. This year, we all did it, including our son (who cruised along in the jogging stroller). Highlight from this race is that afterwards, our son wanted to put on our race numbers and "go for a run". He has since woken up every morning asking to go for a run. I did alright in the race - especially compared to the year before (the weather was in the 90s at 830 in the morning). I think I hit an 11:30 mile but since I'm in the full 1/2 marathon swing

currently, I actually had to run an additional mile to get my training run in.

 

1/2 Marathon training has commenced officially!! Yes, I think its like 95 days until my race in October. I'm officially in week three of training - physically at least. Tomorrow is Week 3 Run 2 - 30 minute run. I say physically because my body now is at the point that it wants to go exercise so getting up at 5AM isn't bad. Nutritionally, however, is a different story. I don't think I can eat enough chocolate right now. I'm following the Jeff Galloway plan because 1) its the most flexible to fit in with my husbands training plan (he's also running the 1/2 in October) and 2) I only have to do 2, 30 minute jogs during the week and 1 long run on the weekend. Since its time based during the week, I can wake up early and get 30 minutes in before the Hubs leaves for work. Its ideal. Also, I'm not looking at breaking records for this 1/2. I'm just looking to finish before the course closes.

 

The cats... Oscar is on the right, Emmy on the left...



 

Cat sitting... Yea... Apparently, I'm allergic to cats! So when we go up to Cleveland to visit and stay with the PILs, I always notice, the first morning there I am groggy, congested, watery-eyed, and itchy beyond belief. I have always chalked it up to just being back in Cleveland where the air is different because when we would leave the house, symptoms would go away. I never attributed it to the cats. Well this past time up there, I somehow got put in charge of feeding the cats. That is NO problem. But since I fed them, they decided that they loved me more than my husband. You know how cats do that kneading thing to you before they lay down on you? Yea, Oscar, cat number 1, decided to knead me all the time and then plunk his fat butt (he's a chunker) on me. Next thing I know, my legs are itching like they have poison ivy all over them and I'm starting to get hives. That's a recent development but they have never sat on me before this past weekend. Enter Benadryl and plenty of it.

This is kind of bittersweet. I'm am by no means a cat person. But I am an animal person and my in-law's cats are probably the least obnoxious cats I know. You can't help but want to love on them. Our trips up to Cleveland now are going to be interesting. I don't have a problem staying at the PIL's house, provided I am medicated and also, hopefully, the cats will be less enamored with me next time around.

 

Its been crazy the last few days. Its going to keep being crazy over the next few weeks. In our future, we are helping two separate family members move, 2 birthdays (mine and my son's), dentist appointments, 2 people doing 1/2 marathon training, combatting with raising a toddler who is into EVERYTHING, and who knows what else.

 

Pray for me...

 

Kathy



Practical Advice for Getting a Root Canal - Warning: The Word Puss is Use Quite Often...

I'm back... again...
Its been a busy few days. For the Memorial day weekend, the troops and I went to visit family and just escape for a few days. It was nice to catch up with people back home. There were a lot of good memories made this time around. My son went on his first train ride (Thomas was in town so we did that with my husband's family) and we spent time visiting with my husband's grandparents which was fantastic, and I got to spend some good time with my Dad so overall it was really nice. We also had a nice little fire at my parents and my son didn't set himself on fire so it was a win all around!

The most recent and exciting update though is Root Canal- Part Deux!
For those of you out there who have never experienced a root canal, you're not missing much. I will share my story and advice with you now so you can be in the know!
The back story is I have very bad enamel on my teeth. Despite my OCD flossing and brushing, I just get cavities and never have a nice clean dental check up. Its a fact of life that I will live with until I die. Dentists ask me what I would like to change about my smile and I respond, "Nothing, I think its lovely. Just make it last until I'm in the ground please..." and then they laugh.
Well, my teeth got really weak when I was pregnant with my son. The kid just drained all the calcium out of my body. I cracked two teeth when I was pregnant with him. For those of you who know tooth numbering, I cracked my 2nd and 3rd molars (Upper right back 2 molars). I had to have crowns placed on them but the back most molar always gave me issues with pain. Being the GENIUS I am, I ignored it and chalked it up to clenching too much when I sleep.
ADVICE NUMBER 1: If you have tooth pain, don't be an idiot like me and ignore it!
Well the pain continued on and off until about the middle of this past March when it became constant. Due to scheduling issues, I kept putting off the doctor until I woke up one morning and my gum was swollen, pussy, and the tooth felt loose.
ADVICE NUMBER 2: Make sure you go to your regular check ups!
I went to my normal dentist (where the best dental hygienist on the face of the planet works FYI) and they did x-rays and essentially wouldn't touch my tooth until and Endodontist did a root canal. Endodontists are specialized in inflicting the most aggravating and annoying dental work imaginable on the general public. The infection in this tooth was so large that it was just a giant black shadow around the root.
ADVICE NUMBER 3: Really, DON'T IGNORE ADVICE NUMBER 1!
So Dr. Root Canal sat me back in the chair, put this blue, plastic suffocating device over my mouth and began work. When the words "wow... umm.... just... this is just a lot of puss..." and "I haven't had one drain like this in forever" come out of a dentist's mouth, its pretty impressive and I did feel quite proud of myself. That was until he told me that the extent of infection meant he needed to let it drain for longer and that I would have to come back.
ADVICE NUMBER 4: Floss regularly.
So I went through 2 rounds of antibiotics (which physically just wiped me out) and 10 days of "draining" and I didn't have any pain. I saw the light. Until the tooth started pussing again. The light turned off. So I went back for root canal part deux and Dr. Root Canal starts working. At one point in time, he was sucking infection out of the gum and said he removed about 2 tablespoons of puss. Once again, I felt proud of myself. UNTIL, he started cementing up the root canals and sticking every instrument he had in my mouth.
ADVICE NUMBER 5: If you need a root canal, I suggested for the days prior, do some jaw exercises to strengthen your jaw in preparation for keeping it wide open for 2 plus hours.
Once Dr. Root Canal was done torturing me, he took a final x-ray. We compared the before and after. Before it was a big, black, shadowy mess. After, it was a smaller black, shadowy mess but this time, the cement in my root canals showed up so I look like I have a bionic tooth! Apparently, the infection in my tooth was so bad it ate at the bone and went into my sinuses. I won't be fully healed for a few months as the bone - yes I said BONE - starts to grow back.
ADVICE NUMBER 6: Be nice to your dentists. Its not their fault your teeth are a mess and they have the ability to either be gentle with you or not. Butter them up and make them laugh before they start your procedure. They could be having a rough day and you don't want that taken out on you...
I am glad that the majority of the work is over. This root canal and infected tooth is symbolic, representative, evidence (etc.) of a really rough time that I've been through and from which I am still healing. It quite literally is the straw - as in the straw and the camel's back. Has it broken my back? Not quite. I'm still kicking. I've very slowly found my humor again. But the straw is still there. And its a constant reminder of what has happened. I think I'll be able to talk about it some more in the near future but not quite yet. I will say that I am very blessed to have the people in my life - my dentists with awesome hygienists, my root canal dentist that thankfully appreciated my humor and was as gentle as he could be, my regular doctors who make sure I'm healthy, and my family who support me, love me, and pray for me.
So until later, have a great day and GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH!

Kathy

Slow Down Saturday and Q-Balls

Happy Saturday everyone!
Its the weekend! Its nice to finally have two days to settle down, prioritize, and spend some time with my boys. My folks are coming to town on Tuesday for a short visit so I need to get our place cleaned up and finish my spring cleaning (that I started about 4 weeks ago...). I've taken a few days off of working out mostly because I am just feel very run down. Today is the last day of my antibiotic (root canal next Friday - yay...) so I hope once that works its way out of my system, I'll start feeling better.

So a goal as of late is to start using everything I have at my disposal before replacing. This means using almost everything in my cupboard and fridge before going to the store and REALLY focusing on only going to the store once every 10 days or so. This has forced my hand at creative ways of preparing food that will be both healthy and edible (especially to the discerning palates of my husband and toddler).
My husband and I have been eating healthier and recently discovered the amazing powers of Quinoa. But really, I only had one recipe and I can only eat so much chicken so I made up this recipe for Quinoa bites - "Q-Balls" (as my husband dubbed them). The troops devoured them so they were a hit. So many people asked me for the recipe that I'm going to start something new and share it on here.

Not the best angle for a picture but these are finished and in the pan

Ingredients

1 Cup water (or chicken stock for extra flavor)

1/2 quinoa

1 large to extra large egg

1/2 Cup Parmasean Cheese

1/2 Cup diced, raw onion

1/2 tsp basil

1/2 oregano

 

Hardware

Saucepan

Large Mixing Bowl

Mini Muffin Pan (Sprayed with olive oil or Pam)

Preheated oven at 350*

 

Directions

1. Prepare the Quinoa by bring the 1 cups of liquid and 1/2 cup of quinoa to a boil in a saucepan and then reduce it to a simmer and cook, covered, until the liquid is absorbed and the quinoa is tender. Cool to room temperature
2. In a separate bowl, mix the onion (keep it raw), cheese, egg, and herbs together. This will be pastey and chunky but this is ok.
3. Add the room temperature quinoa to the mixture. You want this at room temp so you don't prematurely melt the cheese or scramble the egg.
4. Dish your mixture into a lubed mini muffin tin. This will be sticky and will definitely stick to the muffin tin if not sprayed thoroughly. *You can use a muffin liner but not metallic - use paper.
5. Put in the middle rack of the preheated oven for 18-20 minutes or until slightly golden on top.
6. Remove from the muffin tin (if a little sticky still, run a knife along the side of the muffin tin to release).
7. Let rest for at least 10 minutes before enjoying so they set up a bit.

These are good alone or what I did was make a marinara to dip them in so it was like a little Italian bite of deliciousness. My husband ate 9 of the 12 so I think they were a hit.

Enjoy!!!

Back at it Again

The last 2 weeks have been ups and downs and craziness. My wonderful sister (in-law - we all know how I don't like that phrase) graduated from undergrad on the 5th so that weekend was full of family in town and really good food and making cracks about how she's a big girl now. Follow that with a week of doctor's appointments, dentist appointments, and the never ending goal of potty training the most STUBBORN almost three year old, there was barely time for running or making dinner. Finally, this past weekend was mother's day and so flipping cold I stayed in bed...

So here is a quick run down:

Graduation

It was awesome seeing my husband's family. We did family photos on that Saturday morning around campus (as my husband, his parents, and his sisters all graduated from the same school) and my son cooperated - occasionally. It all culminated in my sis-in-law graduating on Sunday and then a nice big family dinner with aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. At the end of it when we were all saying goodbye, my husband's grandfather - Dido - gave me a hug and thanked my husband and I for having such a beautiful son. <Enter tear trickling down the face here.> He then said "Having a family is the best thing in the world, right?" <Enter several more tears shed in the car on the way home due to the sentiment behind the message and the love I have for that man.>

Potty Training

Yea... We have our good days and bad days. Yesterday was a good day. Today not so much. I will say this though, all those websites you see that say you can potty train your kid in 3 days are a big HOAX! They never took into account my kid...

Health

I need a root canal!! Found that out last Wednesday. I found a great new dentist (and by great I mean PHENOMENAL). The technician who cleaned my teeth and did my x-rays was just who God wanted me to run into at the time. She was sweet and caring and way more empathetic than any other medical professional I have ever encountered. I don't have fear of the dentist. I used to but then a C-Section cured me of that (nothing is worse than that). But this woman... I have never laughed so hard at a dental visit before LOL. Only bummer part of all of it is I need a root canal and got put on an antibiotic that is kicking my butt. One is scheduled for next Friday... woo...

 The sky I was given to accompany my 5k on Mother's Day...

Running

Its going as well as it can right now given my antibiotic and injuries. I did a virtual 5k on Sunday for Mother's Day. I rocked it out of the park... Definitely my fastest 5k time yet. But its now Wednesday and I'm still feeling it. I really need to get better at stretching. Yesterday, I went for my first run with my son in the jogging stroller and totally wasn't prepared for it. I started too fast without realizing that I had to push my 36lbs. kid in a 20lbs. stroller in 75* weather. Well, I made it 18 minutes and then walked the rest. I was tight, didn't fuel well enough during the day (ice cream before a run probably not advisable), and just didn't have control over my own pace. Lesson learned...

My view from the road yesterday... I love corn fields and can't wait till they are planted!

Mother's Day

It was nice. Quiet. My husband made breakfast and dinner and gave me the ability to go for my 5k. We called all the mothers in our lives (grandmothers, great grandmothers, mothers, aunts) and had my son leave voice mails for them. Seriously, I wish I had a recording of them because they were HILARIOUS.

I'm still dealing with some emotional baggage that I can't quite come out and talk about yet. I'm doing a lot of reflection and meditation and really starting to see things for how they are, not just what I'm perceiving. The weather is getting beautiful now so I'm outside a lot more and hanging out with my son is just tons of fun. Except getting him to stop playing outside in which case its an utter disaster.

Have a wonderful day friends!!!!!

Kathy

Spring Time is Here

Hello spring time... Nice of you to join us finally.

However, due to the WONDERFUL and UNPREDICTABLE weather where I am, I think we bypassed spring, straight to summer, and next week we'll make another detour back to winter... Got to love trying to figure out what wardrobe we should be in.
Yesterday was beautiful. I woke up and went for a run in the morning. I'm just running for time right now, not distance. I did 30 straight minutes and went just over 2.6 miles so I'm getting back into the swing of things now. It was so foggy and I got really wet but it was cool and refreshing. Besides, I love being able to say I ran through a cloud.

But not only did I put those miles in, I also went for a 4 mile walk with my beautiful sis-in-law (which really she's just my sister... I've known her longer than my husband (her brother) and the in-law title just gets in the way...) and my son, got mildly sun burnt, and just had a nice day. My son has never hit the pillow as hard as his head hit it last night. A lovely side-effect of nice spring weather. Might hit the park up with him today but its supposed to be hotter and sunnier than yesterday so, we're playing that by ear. I might instead bake some of his favorite cookies with him - its his great, great grandfather's recipe that I got from my husband's grandmother (only the best baker in the world...).
We heard back from the vet. Nothing is wrong with my dog (other than his psychological issues of thinking he's a human in a dog body) so probably after his round of anti-biotics is done and he's fully vaccinated, we'll be up and running together again. Our community also opened a new dog park by the trail we run so I really want to check that out with him. Hopefully, he won't try and eat any of the dogs. It will be nice to have him back. He's a good pace dog to keep me from running to hard too quickly and I don't know how much longer until the weather get hot that we'll be able to run together. He's the only long distance Jack Russel I know...
My legs are feeling a lot better right now. I think a few more weeks of just running slowly, running for a set amount of time and not pace, and listening to my body are in order before I start my training program. But that's a start. I need to build my endurance back up and that's just going to take time. I've also decided to stop weighing myself for the time being. Its just dragging me down. I know I'm eating well and I'm exercising regularly so I just need to trust that.
I am just looking forward to the spring and summer. I got my husband hooked on sitting on our patio at night so yay! No more television!! I am looking forward to walks with my boys (husband, son, and dog) and trips to the park and everything smelling like sunscreen. I'm still definitely a fall and winter person. Watching me swim is like watching a fish try to fly. I'm not a huge fan of hot and I burn like toast left under the broiler too long but I do love the concept and metaphor of spring and summer. New birth, new growth, new adventures.

What are your exciting nice weather plans?

Kathy

HAPPY SATURDAY!!!

I don't know about your area but it is gorgeous here.
I tried to go for a 30 minute jog yesterday just to continue working on building my base again and I took my furry traveling companion. Unfortunately, he had other plans. 4 minutes into the run, he had some digestive issues that warranted a trip to the vet - NOT his favorite place. I grabbed my son and we headed off.
On the upside, my son, who is just over 2.5, has never been more attentive to our dog before. He has declared that only he can feed him, he wants to walk him, and its his job to brush him. I'm not sure how exactly thrilled our dog is about this arrangement, but he's taking it like a trooper. Because of this, my son has been more empathetic lately and consequently, easier to be around. Sadly, my training partner is on the mend, so no run for him today. But I think he's happier just curling up on the back of our chair and sleeping all day anyways.

I have an impacted molar. This is more annoying than painful. It started on Friday morning and my dentist was closed on Friday. This just continues my frustrated feelings right now. I just want my body to get back on board with where I want to be. I don't want my mouth or ankle to hurt anymore. I want it to stop failing me. I'm not sure what I need to do this right now or if I just need to lower my expectations. I'm just looking forward to forward progression.
Running and exercise is helping though. Journaling and blogging as well. I'm still dealing with a lot of other things right now that are leaving me confused and frustrated but it gets a little better every day. Also, my son is such a blessing right now. He makes me focus on being happy and doing fun things and getting to be a little kid again. Best medicine ever - and its free.
So for today, my husband, son, and I are going to go to a local "trail" and get some miles in. This is the first family run of the year and even though my husband is going to leave me in the dust, I'm still looking forward to it. Then, maybe we grill some pork chops and eat outside today. Not sure, but I'm just going to have a good day.

What is your favorite weekend thing to do? Alone or with the family?

Kathy

Is it Wednesday?

I have NO idea what day it is right now.
Everything is just running together. But oh well...
I had every intention of getting my butt out of bed (or off of couch since that's where I fell asleep last night) at 5am to go for a nice little jog with my furry training companion. That did not happen...
Instead I slept in till about 6:50, got my son from his room, made him breakfast, and realized that I still had about an hour before my husband had to leave for work so I threw my running clothes on quickly and hit the road. I only intended on doing 25 minutes jogging today just until I get my sea legs back.
Run went well. I didn't feel AMAZING or STRONG but I felt competent and satisfactory. And right now, that's all I can hope for. The ankle is holding up. I did a 3 mile walk with my son in the jogging stroller yesterday and it felt alright after that. I can still feel it creaking when I point and flex it but there isn't any pain. I just need to ease myself into all of this. I think I know which training plan I want to follow for my 1/2 marathon training but before I can start that, I need to build my base back up.
Also, I need to get a pedicure. My mother-in-law asked me last Friday what I was going to do to pamper myself given everything that's going on and I replied with "the laundry?". But after my run today, my toes are hurting because I think I am getting some in-grown toenails. I am not good at taking care of myself. I can anticipate everyone else's needs and take care of them, but when it comes to me, I got nothing. I need to change this. I'm starting with my physical health. I can do that right now. I'm doing some sort of cardio and exercise every day. I also need to start integrating more strength training. When I was lifting weight in high school, I was scary strong. I think my rest day is going to be Thursdays. Other than the Ben and Jerry's I ate last night, I'm focusing on eating well again.
So, all in all, today is looking like a good day. At least, its my goal to make it a good day. I'm going to take my son to our Science Center with my fabulous sisters-in-law so that will be a nice and welcome distraction. We'll see how he does without a nap. EEK...

Also, I need a happy countdown to something that is exciting to me so here it is:

179 DAYS UNTIL MY FIRST 1/2 MARATHON!!!!!
What do you do to pamper yourself?
Let's make it a great day!

Kathy

Hi Again

Hello all...
I have been absent for a while. Life just has a tendency to get in the way when you're not looking I suppose. Its been an eventful last few weeks to say the least. I'll try and get a recap done.

My running buddy after our WHOPPING 2.6 miles yesterday...

• Running/health - I have been on a hiatus. My ankle wasn't acting normally for a really long time and I still don't trust it. I still think I might look up a sports specific, or even running specific, doctor just to get it checked out. It seems to be holding up alright now. I went for a jog/run yesterday and didn't do that badly. I really didn't focus on speed or time. I just jogged when I felt like it and when I got too winded walked for a bit. I took my dog with me which was good for stopping because that dog needs to mark everything where we live as his own. My ankle and I feel ok today. I think, given the weather being beautiful, I might take my son on a LONG walk and get out of the house. Go stretch my legs, soak up some vitamin D from the sun, listen to him declare how he is Super and everyone around him is Super... Those are the best medicine for healing. I have my first 1/2 marathon in October that I'm entering serious training mode now and I would like to drop at least 40lbs by race day. I read that for every 5lbs down, you can drop your finish time by 1-2 minutes. I'm doing well. I'm down almost 10lbs as of this morning. But its all ebb and flow. I'll get there.

• Potty Training - OH HOW I LOATHE THIS. My son apparently is totally fine with just living in his own filth... We were doing really well for like a week. And now nothing. If anyone has any advice on this front, please don't hold back. Essentially we are reward training him. If he completes a successful "transaction" (if you will - I'll keep this as PC as possible) we give him a prize (three M&Ms). It worked to the point where he didn't need the prize anymore and then just fell apart. I'm just frustrated.

• Boston - Last week the bombing at the Boston Marathon really shook me. I think now that I am more aware of the world and a mom, I just immediately go to "what if that were my family" which immediately makes me scared and sad. I just can't believe that the world is coming to this. Why can't we all just agree to disagree and move on? Its not worth all the manpower and energy. I just hope that everyone who was injured or lost a loved one can find some peace and healing soon. I hope that the runners who didn't get to finish don't let this stop their dreams. My husband and I just recently joined the running community and the runners that I follow, though I don't know them personally, I do know them through their blogs and facebook. What I can say is that you can't keep the spirit of a runner down. We just keep going. Its how we are programmed.

•  Emotionally - I'm basically a wreck right now. I've had some things happen in the last few weeks that I'm just not ready to talk about but they have left me very upside down and I am left not feeling like myself. Its like I don't know my own body anymore. Grrrrrr... Couple that with the hiatus in running and exercising in general and you have the perfect equation for a very cranky and emotional Kathy. I think over the next few weeks and months, I'll be able to talk about everything but for now, I just need to sort everything out and figure out where I am as a mom, wife, and woman. Now that I feel physically able to run again and that the weather is getting better (though its still Ohio, we are still in a month that has an "r" in its name, therefore we can still have a blizzard one day and 78* the next) I think that I'll be able to reason things through in time.

That is all for now. I am making it a goal to not go another three weeks without posting. This has been therapeutic and cathartic. Now, I need to go get some endorphins flowing...

How are you feeling about the Marathon Bombings? How are you reasoning through it?

Kathy

I peaked at 6...

 

When people ask me, "If you could be any age, what would it be..." I always say 6. Most people will want to be older so they have more "perks" - ie. more money, better job, more vacation time. But not me. I always say that I peaked at 6.
6 was the age that I could ride a two wheeler, stay up just a little bit later, stay outside during the summer until it was too dark to see my hand in front of my face, and still be amazed by learning new things because everything was still new. I'm not saying that the rest of my childhood was jaded - I played plenty. But it was new at 6. It was exciting at 6. Its what I love about my son right now. He's learning everything. I can amaze him with baking (chemistry) and I can perform magic with a simple understanding of physics (like making Cartesian divers out of dish soap bottles and soy sauce packets). I can also do some mind control on him by threatening his bad behavior with "Santa can see you right now" or "Its a shame the Easter Bunny is just going to hop right by."
So why am I so nostalgic for 6 again?
For the mere reason that I have been in more pain, illness, and injury in my 20s than I have ever been in my WHOLE life. The 20s are supposed to be your prime. You finally have that adult mature strength and can do and accomplish anything. HAHAHAHAHA
I got my first ear infection at 20. A double ear infection at 21. Shin splints at 23 (and they haven't gone away yet). Tendinitis at 26. GRAY HAIR at 25. Acne at 22 - seriously... Anemia at 20. Allergies at 22. Allergic reactions left and right. HEARTBURN!!! I have thrown up more in my twenties than my whole life combined (and I drink hardly ever so don't even think that) and I have been sick more consistently now than ever before. I remember getting a yearly cold. Now I think I have a cold every month. Granted, I have a toddler - aka. human incubator for germs. But, if this is my 20s, what are my 30s and beyond going to be like?
I had a TDap shot this past Thursday at my physical. I didn't think anything of it. Back when I was 6 and invincible, shots were no big deal to me. They didn't even make me flinch. I thought I was still invincible on Thursday. My sister warned me about how awful she felt when she got it. I laughed it off. I shouldn't have laughed it off. The day after the shot felt like the day after I had my son by c-section. I was, and still am, miserable. I couldn't sleep enough. I got a cold. I ached. I still can't touch the injection spot on my arm. I am no longer invincible...
Like I said, I peaked at 6. I just need to figure out a way to get back there.... The quote at the beginning of this is my motivation.

What was your best age?

Definitely Injured... and other ramblings

 

ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL...

 

Its official... I am injured. I had my yearly physical today and it was confirmed as extreme tendinitis. I am not allowed to run or do anything that impacts my foot too severely for about a month and I have stretches and exercises I have to do. This all depresses me. I just want to run! I feel good when I run. I feel strong and speedy (despite the fact that I'm not). I get jealous of people who get to run when I don't. Grrrr.... I guess this is payback for childhood. I never got hurt when I was a kid. Everyone of my siblings broke something by the time they were in high school. I just dislocated my shoulder a few times, dropped a weight on my foot (nothing broke), and had various strains and sprains but nothing major. I was lucky... Well its all catching up with me now :(

 

But in the spirit of staying positive to promote healing, I will think positively. Currently, I have realized just how amazingly smart my son is. He loves playing in his room. I think its because my husband and I don't let him play in there at all. Because we had to transition him to a bed, we've tried to establish that his room is for sleeping and sleeping only as to discourage any monkey business after the lights are off and the doors are closed. Well, as all 2 year olds, he has hit the stage of meltdowns. When he melts down and I just can't take it, I say "uh-oh" and whisk him to his room. The first 2 or 3 weeks of this he would just pass out from being exhausted. That is until he realized that he can get out of bed and turn the lights on. Now, I am CONVINCED that he has a meltdown just to go to his room. Like I said, tiny genius.

 

Easter is coming and I really can't wait. I like Easter. Its probably my second most favorite celebratory time of year (behind Thanksgiving and before Christmas). It means new, and hope, and fresh starts. It means possibilities and redemption. My family had a small Easter tradition. We had baskets and we had Mass on Easter Sunday but that was about it. My dad would buy my mom, sisters, and me corsages to wear to church. It wasn't until I started dating my husband that I experienced a different kind of Easter.

 

He is Ukrainian (mom's side) and Southern (dad's side). His Ukrainian family really does up Easter and I LOVE IT!!! They do blessing of the baskets on Saturday at his Grandparent's church. Its the whole nine yards - incense, gentle "chanting" (not really chanting but its in Ukrainian so it sounds like it), candles, and PASKA (which I love baking - its his Baba's recipe)!!! Then its the whole family, afterward, hanging out and eating pizza because cooking is work and you don't work at Easter. Its AWESOME!!! I love being with his family. I love watching my son interact with his family. To me, this time is just so less stressful than Christmas or Thanksgiving. This time is just effortless.

 

AND since he is 2.5, we've been playing up the Easter bunny aspect of things. He loves the Easter bunny more than Santa. We recently watched Rise of the Guardians and it was awesome! I highly recommend it for any kid (or adult who needs to be reminded of believing). But now I can't wait for an Easter egg hunt ON TOP of hanging out with family.

 

Essentially, I have a lot to look forward to, despite my current injury... :)

 

What are you looking forward to?

 

Kathy

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder...?

Hello again!
I haven't posted in a while because frankly, I've been depressed. About 2.5 weeks ago I went on a stellar 4 mile run. Well, I thought it was stellar. Boy was I wrong!!!
After I got back and I was stretching, I noticed a nagging irk in my left ankle. I won't call it a pain because it didn't hurt but it wasn't comfortable. I can only describe it as that feeling of when your eye is twitching and it won't go away. It doesn't hurt you or significantly impede you but after a while its just annoying. So I decided to take a day or two off and just focus on walking my dog and paying attention to it that way. Well this irk wasn't going away and it was really really prominent when I would walk up and especially down stairs.
After some researching and getting over denial of being injured, I self-diagnosed with tendinitis (don't worry, I have a physical on Thursday so I should get this confirmed by a professional). BUMMER. I rested for another week and did a run on March 10th thinking that I was good. I walked and ran for 30 minutes. MISTAKE. Lots of discomfort, lots of nagging irksome annoyance, and stiffness beyond belief. I had to sideline myself which made me even more bummed out because I had my first 5 mile race this past Saturday. My husband and I had been signed up for it for 5 weeks and I was so excited. I knew I was going to knock it out. All of my siblings were going to run in it as well.
Well I guess the good Lord had better plans.
The weather was awful (snow and sleet), my ankle, though it feels better, still isn't up to snuff, and the night before the race, my wonderful boy decided that it was as good time as any to have his first bout ever with a stomach virus and projectile vomit. Hence, I was up all night...
Its been a rough couple of weeks. I am so proud of my husband (who turns 27 today!!!) and how he ran despite the weather. He beat his goal of 5 miles in 45 minutes and did it in 43 instead. I'm so proud of my sister who hasn't run since Thanksgiving and her race time for the adjoining 2 miler that was being held as well. But I'm still SO bummed that I couldn't do it. Talk about coming down from a runner's high.
But today is a new day and its a new week. I think, provided my doctor OKs it, I'm going to start back up tomorrow, taking it slow and doing intervals between running and walking. I have a couch to 10k training plan I'm going to start and by the time that's done, I should be ready to start my half marathon training for October. I will run that half even if I have to be carried off on a stretcher at the finish...

What's been your worst injury and how did you get over the disappointment?

3.5 and Still Alive!

Well that was an exciting work out today.
I really wasn't feeling it. The weather here has been so up and down. I am not one to turn my nose up at the snow. I love winter. But I am getting so tired of running in precipitation. Nothing beats 3.5 in wet, spitting snow. But I sucked it up and got out there.

 



I've been running around our complex and that's not a bad alternative but its about a .56 mile loop and you can only run around it so many times before you want a change of scenery - especially on the longer runs. I ran around the developments outside our complex and got SO LOST. I wanted this to be an easy run where I could just get lost with my music and my thoughts and I never thought to think about where I was. Fittingly enough though, the streets around my complex are all named after athletic shoes - Saucony Drive, Reebox Street, Adidas... I cannot make that up.
Anyways, I did a good job of getting lost (physically and mentally) but I started getting this tingle in my left big toe. Then it was all I could think about which then just kept making me check my watch to see when I would be done running. And then I was thinking about how I didn't know how far from home I was and that I was going to have to finish walking home even after I was done running. By the time I finished the run, both of my feet were tingling and numb.
So I googled it when I got home. My initial research says its some type of nerve impairment? I have shoes that were fitted to me (although I did change my insoles this time around) and I don't tie my laces very tightly at all. In the past, this has happened when I've been on elliptical but I just figured it was a product of being on a machine. Now its happening running normally and I'm frustrated. I have a 5 mile race on March 16th and I really don't want to run 5 miles with numb feet. I have my annual physical on Wednesday next week so I'll bring it up with my doc then. In the meantime, I'm just looking forward to my 4 mile run on Saturday...
Well, I am exhausted and I desperately need to ice my legs and then hang out with a heating pad for a while.

Do your feet and toes tingle when you run? What are you obstacles right now?

Kathy

Memories

Sunday night, I had the sudden urge to get out all the photos that I have in my possession and organize them because I really want to get back into scrapbooking. I have been craving doing something creative for a very very long time now and I love scrapbooking.
The pictures I found made me laugh. I looked at all the baby (and by baby I mean tiny teeny little baby pictures) of my wonderful, giant 2.5 year old. I miss the days of him not talking back or saying "no" everytime I ask him a question. It was nice to remember the day he was born and all the people we had with us. I remember sitting in my kitchen and clutching my dog for dear life trying to convince my husband that no one would notice if we snuck him into the hospital with us.
Then I found some AWESOME pictures of my husband and I when we were in high school and college. We both looked at those and realized just how much we've changed in 10 years. I mean, we started dating when he was 17 and I was 16. My husband will turn 27 in March and he's having a hard time with this birthday. I think he's realized finally that the majority of his 20s are behind him - LOL.
Looking at those pictures just made me think back at how far I've come and its made me realize how much further I have to go still. It really is about the journey, not the destination. I highly doubt that I've reached my potential quite yet and I refuse to believe that I peaked at 17 years old in high school. I've just realized how truely blessed I've been and how blessed I continue to be. Its so exciting getting to watch my son grow up, learn things, and become who he is. Its awesome getting be a little kid again essentially. I always joke that I peaked at 6 years old. I get to be 6 again! Its awesome!!! Although, I do recall having more energy when I was 6... Wish that came around again...

Running update: Went for 3 miles this morning. I got it done in 36:35 which is about a full minute faster than my 3 miler on Saturday. I still think I'm pushing myself too hard but I finished strong and I had a little bit more left in the tank. Thursday's run will be 3.5 which is going to be exciting... refreshing... TERRIFYING!! But I think if I can just remind myself to pace it and remember that I need to finish, I'll be fine.
What I really need to do is to stop doubting my bodies abilities though. I've been in the mindset for so long that I'm not a runner. And then it was the mindset of I'm a slow runner. Then I wasn't anything for a while. I need to stop thinking that way, realize that I'm awesome, and remind myself that I am an athlete. I may not be breaking course records or getting endorsement deals, but I am an athlete for the mere fact that I am training and running and getting out there and doing it. Long and short of it, I'm way more of a head case as a runner than I ever was a discus thrower.


What are your biggest obstacles?



Kathy

Moderation

ALL GOOD THINGS IN MODERATION

 

I really need to learn to embrace that statement. I am starting out way too fast on my runs. I am eating way too many sweets. I am watching way too many episodes of Top Gear (the British version).

 

Running - Today was the first mind game I've had to play with myself during this journey. I originally thought that my training plan called for a 2 mile run today in preparation for my 5 mile race on March 16th.

Oh no, it was actually a 2.5 mile run.

After having run 3 miles yesterday.

And it was colder today.

And I got less sleep last night...

I decided to try and make the best of it when I started out and I was feeling great - until I looked at my watch and realized I was on track to run a 11:30 mile. To most seasoned runners out there, that's probably the pace at which they walk but to me, just starting out again, trying to increase my endurance and not get injured, 11:30 is just TOO FAST. I slowed right down but then I was so dog tired that the second mile felt like it lasted forever and then I realized I had another .5 to go. I finished in 30:10 which gave an average pace of 12:05 which isn't bad. Its good - really good. But now I have to survive the rest of the day with my 2.5 year old and tackle the endless list of things to do around the house - all with little to no energy.

I need to learn to pace myself. As my husband says "you jack rabbited". This is the mental game that turned me off of running for all those years in college and high school.

 

"Time is a funny thing. It can take a man's life without him knowing it."

My "frenemy"...

 

 

Eating - My eating is HORRIBLE right now. I have no desire to eat healthy and well. I want to eat things that taste good and then eat a lot of it. I just want to have chocolate every day. I don't know what's wrong with me there. Thinking it might have something to do with my cycle and starting up running again. I'm not so concerned with the scale but I want to make sure I'm fueling my body properly. I have had such a bad relationship with food. I'm only recently starting to enjoy vegetables but give me pasta with a cream sauce and a lava cake for dessert and I'm a happy girl. I'm also a firm believer in listening to what my body wants so I'm not quite sure what its telling me right now because I can't eat chocolate cake every day...

 

I am SO looking forward to a rest day tomorrow.

 

Kathy

 

 

Happiness and other things

So, I didn't get a chance to post yesterday for the mere fact that I was EXHAUSTED!
Darling son decided that getting up at 2:30am and staying awake till 5 was the thing to do. I'm still struggling with this whole letting him just put himself down vs. going in there and putting him down myself. He's always been a great sleeper but since we transitioned him to a new bed and he has more freedom in his room, its been hit or miss. He has handled it well, but lately I think he's suffering from cabin fever as much as I am and is just acting out.

Also, given the frustrated rant of the day before yesterday, I've decided I need to find more positivity in my life. This morning I had a really great run. Way better than I thought it was going to be and as I was walking a cool down with my dog I realized that I am not taking advantage of the gifts that I have. To start doing that, Saturdays I'm going to try and post what is making me HAPPY.

1. Compression Sleeves and New Balance Running Shoes - Today's killer run was brought to you by the brand new compression sleeves I got for my shin splints. I felt good and sustained all 3 miles. No twinges of calf fatigue or shin splits. This was my second run in my shoes and my feet and my PF felt good! Although, the big toe in my left foot goes tingly and numb after about a mile and half. I'll need to google that later...
2. My 2.5 year old son - He tries to read now. His favorite book is "Oh the Places You'll Go" and he tries to read what's on the page (from memory of course). He's just so smart :)
3. Weather - Its starting to get warm! And by warm, it's just about freezing when I go for a run - lol! Got to LOVE the Midwest :)
4. My husband - He tries and that's all I can ask for. He's been supportive of running and racing. He wants me to do a half marathon in October with him. I'm TERRIFIED of it but today I almost believed him when he said that I could do it. Maybe a few more days of hearing that and I'll accept it.
5. My dad - He made me the athlete and person I am. He taught me that nothing good comes without working hard for it and that its about the training, not the finish.
6. Presents in the Mail - I got a necklace today with the phrase "Today, I will..." I saw this on another blog that I read and it really made me think about accomplishments, big and small, and how they all just add up.

Well, that's about all for now. If anyone out there has some hints for getting a willful and stubborn 2.5 year old to sleep, I'd love to hear any suggestions!

Kathy

 

My dad and I at my graduation in 2008 :)

 

My wonderful husband who deals with me as best he can :)

 

 

My terribly wonderful two year old with his partner in crime Nick, the Jack Russel Terrorist...

Body issues, Eating Issues, Children Issues... BLAHDY BLAHDY BLAH



So I write this today because I'm struggling right now.
I've started this running journey, right? I have been running on an off with mild success for about a year but right now, I feel more dedicated about it than ever before. My wonderful husband has wanted to run a half marathon for a few months now but has been sidelined due to injury (he finally knows what shin splints are and why running isn't always just oh so pleasant) and Midwest winters. We've signed up to run a 5 mile race together in about 22 days. I've been comfortably (but slowly) running 2.5 miles in 30 minutes so I figured, what's another 2.5 to that. This is my first real week of conditioning for the race. I don't want to try for a PR, this will be my first serious race but I also don't want to be that woman that everyone looks at her and thinks "what is she doing running?" I also have this insane fear of finishing last. I know since I'm not trying to PR I shouldn't care about finishing last, but I do. I do care. I feel like I look like an elephant when I run. I constantly compare myself to people around me and a friend made a comment (thinking it would be helpful motivation) that just made me feel worse.
This leads to eating issues. I think its just that time in my cycle, but all I want to do is eat awful food. I've been trying to figure out the best way to eat for my body. Best way to get the calories I need, lose weight that I definitely need to lose, and still be able to feed my family all on a tight budget. BUT I just want ice cream. Its really bad at night. I can do alright during the day but once the evening falls and my husband is home from work, I just want to eat junk food. I've read about cutting out fat, cutting out carbs, cutting out "bad" carbs, vegan, meat only, cut out sugar, sugar is ok in moderation - I can't keep it all straight.
When I was in high school, my weight never mattered to me. I was fit, in shape, and an athlete. However, I did not eat well despite being an athlete. I never ate breakfast. It wasn't really enforced in my house to eat before school and I didn't want to either - I had an early morning choir class and eating messed with my voice. Our lunch period was only 24 minutes long which was NEVER enough time to get food and eat it so I usually just had a bag of chips and a 20oz. ginger ale. Then dinner was never very appetizing so I just ate enough to not be hungry and then that was that. If I went out with friends, that's when I ate because I was programmed to eat what tasted good. This is something with which I am still struggling.
I'm also constantly struggling with how well my son is eating and if he's getting the right nutrients and the right types of food. He is a happy healthy "average" 2.5 year old. He eats peas and salads but would definitely prefer a pop tart to a bowl of peas any day of the week. I worry about him eating too much sugar and becoming obese. I'm worried about him being too sedentary. I'm just always worried.

Well that was quite the rant. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.

Does anyone else out there have these issues or need a rant?

Kathy

A New Challenge

Sitting in my kitchen with my son joyfully playing in the room above me (though it is naptime), I have been reflecting on how 2013 is going so far. I really should be doing the dishes though... This seems like a better use of time.
My son has fully begun his terrible two's. His behaviors seem to come in 6 month spurts. Its incredibly frustrating but I think we're getting through the worst of it. He is such a smart boy and its almost too much of a good thing because he can see through the little tricks my husband and I try to play on him for his own good and safety. For instance, before I could get through calling just plain old skim milk, white chocolate milk when he wanted chocolate milk. Not so much anymore. He is definitely stubborn and headstrong but still respectful. At least of other adults. And truthfully I would rather it be that way. He can be awful to me as much as he wants but not to the world around him. I always said I wanted him to be a respectful smartass.
Also, I have started on a new challenge. Lately, I've been working out with P90X. Its not easy but it was a good thing to do with it being too cold outside to really be able to run well. Well now its just about freezing during the morning which in Midwest speak is just warm enough to be able to go for a run.
I am so excited about running again. I did really well with it at the beginning of last year. I lost about 30 lbs doing it too. But it gave me that runners high. That kick that really made me feel like I was accomplishing something. I could see progress and though it wasn't easy progress, I could look back at the end of a workout and say "yes, I did just accomplish that".
I think this is the thing that I need. I've been reading some running blogs written by other women and mothers and I finally feel like I have the motivation I need to really stick to it. Its nice to read other women going through the same things that I am. Most of these women are competitive runners and I struggle to get through 30 minutes of straight running but every journey of 1,000 miles starts with one step, right?
The other upside to this running thing is that my husband wants to do it too. Its finally something we can do together that we both want as opposed to the dance lessons I want to do or the HOURS upon HOURS of screen time (movies, iphones, television) that he wants. Also, I want to be more of an example of healthy living to our son. I want him to see his mom and dad doing things together for the betterment of their lives. I want him to want to be active. I can't wait till the weather gets to the point where we can break out the jogging stroller and go on family runs again.
I like this new thing.